The ONE Secret To Get What You Want

Subscribe to the HALFASS TO BADASS Podcast:

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

To talk to Satori, go to https://www.talktosatori.com/

3 Key Points:

Find out the consequences of not owning your worth.
Find out what an Olympic Gold Medalist went through when changing his career.
And see what your self-worth and net worth have in common.

Show Notes:

Skip to: 03:17 …every human being has the right to choose what they do or don’t do. What they say or don’t say. Not only do they have the right, but they always do make that choice…People always have a choice.

Skip to: 08:02 …if you want to be great at influencing and moving people you must own the ability to move and influence you, first!

Skip to: 11:27 Influence is the key to a better life. Period.

Skip to: 12:16 Are you influencing yourself to get closer or further away from what you want?

Skip to: 14:19 Your self worth equals your net-worth.

Skip to: 15:26 If you have no control of your time, you can’t influence your time and much less own it, you’ll have no impact.

Like and Follow HALFASS to BADASS:

HALFASS to BADASS Resources:

Full Transcript:

What’s the ONE common thing that will determine how much money you make, if you have mind-blowing sex or none at all, if you’re healthy, full of energy or have to drag yourself out of bed in the morning…?

What’s up everyone, this is Satori Mateu and in this new episode of Halfass to Badass I’m going to share with you the ONE SECRET to getting what you want…

Do I have your attention?

Listen, if you’ve ever wanted to make a difference, ever wanted to share your message with the world or wanted to have an deep impact on your family, your friends, maybe your clients, today’s episode, it’s about the ONE core area of mastery that will help you win and succeed massively.

Failure to master this equals a life of struggle; of overwhelm, of stress, of the complexity of difficult challenges and hardship.

This is the ONE skillset you need to change people’s lives and have a deep impact in the world.

Your world, other people’s worlds, anybody’s world.

Dramatic enough?

What I’m talking about is your ability to…

OWN. YOUR. INFLUENCE.

Your ability to influence the thoughts and feelings of yourself and others is the key ingredient to be able to do anything that matters.Click To Tweet

Move your products and services (produce revenue). Lead an organization. (Getting your team to set and achieve targets). Helping your kids succeed in life. Getting that special someone to say, ”I do.” (If that’s a desire).

So, let’s look at what it is first. I look at influence as your ability to move, to impact, to have an effect on the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of yourself and others. It’s your ability to have an effect on the character, on the development, on the growth and improvement, of someone or something. You actually have a way of impacting that.

So can you see how your ability to shape the thinking, feelings, and behaviors of the world around you (and within you) is the key to having incredible relationships, make all the money you want, be extremely productive, elevate your performance and have vibrant health and energy?

That’s what influencers and leaders do.

So let’s just take a quick look at what it’s not. It’s not about twisting someone’s arm to get them to do what you want them to do. It’s not about being a victim and getting upset or disappointed, or having a fit, or becoming a martyr when people chose something different than you wanted.

That’s just the natural understanding of the law of choice. The law of choice clearly states that

everybody, every human being has the right to choose what they do or don't do. What they say or don’t say. Not only do they have the right, but they always do make that choice.Click To Tweet

What’s great about that is, there are no victims.

People always have a choice.

Here’s a secret to remember… people will always do or avoid doing things in direct relationship to how they connect and perceive the benefits versus drawbacks. Rewards versus punishment. Pain versus pleasure. In other words, people will make choices according to what they see is going to be more beneficial than not.

What they perceive will create more pleasure than pain. Are you following?

Therefore, your ability to communicate into a person’s values and associations (What they perceive will create pain or pleasure, benefits versus drawbacks) will determine how effective you are in creating a win-win experience.

This is why you want to become an influencer, not a dictator. You’re an influencer, not a controlling, manipulative person.

Years ago, Tony Robbins hired me to help increase their revenue (If you don’t know who he is he’s a personal coach, author, and business strategist that has influenced millions of people that from around the world).

One of the things they wanted was to grow their business and because Tony’s live events are very dynamic and an environment where people get immersed in the content, they wanted to increase the attendance of their seminars so they could have a bigger impact. One of the main strategies they used was to go out to companies the deliver a workshop ( that added value) and at the end of the workshop offer the people an opportunity to come to a Tony Robbins 3-day Unleash the Power Within event.

But it wasn’t easy for them to find the right people to go out and represent their brand and teach the workshops because some people the recruited loved to teach but they sucked at selling tickets, so that didn’t work, and others were hardcore sales people that came across as pushy and very salesy, they didn’t have the finesse and they sucked at teaching.

It was frustrating to have a great message but not get it out the right way.

So they had to do something different because then it had to be congruent, it had to match the message.

They realized they wanted to find someone that had the blend of both… someone that could teach and could sell.

They put it out there. And the plan was to get a small team of elite presenters who could represent Tony’s message. If they just had a great presentation it would all work, right?

Well, it wasn’t that easy. They had thousands of people applying (it was like an audition. They had memorized a script and record themselves on video to deliver this workshop. If they passed they would fly to San Diego and do it live in front of a team that would evaluate each speaker.) But it was hard to find the right combination, and the truth is, so many of them choked, got nervous, some were really bad. They had to go through a lot to get to the best.

I was one of 10 who got the gig.

Here’s what’s so interesting, the secret was influence. And the secret to influence is deep caring combined with skill. My deep level of caring for people with an understanding of how to move them (to influence their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors) and being present is what built my business and relationships.

When I went to a company and did do a workshop, I was willing to stand up for someone’s dreams even when they didn’t themselves.

I was committed to their greatness when they couldn’t see it. I recently received a message from a woman on Facebook from a video I created about my personal story (This is more than 10 years later, and this who had attended one of the Tony Robbins events) And she said, “I remember the grounded and authentic power you held. I didn’t just remember you… I remembered your name and even how to spell it. She said, Please take to heart the magnitude of the ripple you’ve created as you’ve overcome and given back…

Think about it, who has impacted your life because they cared for and influenced you in some way…

Understand that if you want to be great at influencing and moving people you must own the ability to move and influence you, first!Click To Tweet

You see, if you think something is a problem if you think something is difficult, or that it won’t work, what are you the chances you’ll get me to think differently?

You won’t! That’s why you want to know how to move and influence, the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of yourself, first!

This way you will have a deeper understanding and caring for what goes on in others.

Here’s a big problem. So many of us are afraid of influencing people. We’re afraid of taking ownership of our knowledge, our expertise, our values, or even expressing our desires. We’re afraid we’ll disappoint people, that they’ll disagree or get mad at us. So we become hesitant. Passive. And question ourselves.

I have a client, he’s an Olympic gold medalist, and an American record holder, and one of the fastest men ever recorded in human history. I mean this dude is fast. And we’re looking at different options for how he can build a career after the career so to speak, right?

If you want to increase your speed this is the dude to learn from.

But when it comes to seeing his own value, and understanding what people would happily pay him to learn from him he has no idea, he gets uncertain. Which is normal, cause he has never done this before.

Which is why he has me, to help him see not only his value, and how to package, price and deliver his services but also, for him to see the impact he will have in other people’s lives by sharing his gift, his knowledge, and experience as a champion. Is this making sense?

Not owning your influence and being afraid of what others are going to think about you, carries with it big consequences. It takes away our power.

The big problem is not taking a stand for your clients, your kids, your family, your friends, your community; truly caring for the people who can benefit from your product, your service, or your wisdom. Are you getting this?

You see, a lot of times, we’re more concerned with other people’s opinion about us, than we are about the actual result or outcome we can produce and contribute.

We become self-centered, selfish, rather than being caring centered, or client-centered.

What it’s really; it’s fear centered. Which makes us go into survival mode. And in this place, we don’t do anything but think about ourselves.

We don’t like to admit it. It’s not very sexy. But it’s the truth. I see this with my clients all the time. High achievers, highly successful individuals and when I help them see the truth that’s when all the magic happens and their success goes to a whole other level.

This is when we get them from a million dollars to ten million, ten to a hundred, or get them to finally venture out on their own, turn their marriage around or take someone from not being suicidal or depressed anymore.

Now, why does this matter? This matters because if you want to be a dominating force in your field, if you want to be a dominating force in this world as a leader, how important do you think it is to become a pro at thing called influence, to truly master this? Very, right?

Influence is the key to a better life. Period.Click To Tweet

It’ll make you more money. Make you a better lover. Increase your energy, It will make you form great habits and break bad habits.

Anyone’s thoughts, feelings, decisions and behaviors, you want to impact, in other words, whatever habits; thinking habits, emotional habits, and behavioral habits, you want to change or improve requires you to be an unshakeable master of influence…

Does it sound difficult? As a challenge, you’re not sure if you can do?

The good news?

You’re already doing it, you’ve already been doing it all of your life.

The question isn’t can I influence myself and others. The question is, how can you be more deliberate, more intentional and efficient at it?

Are you influencing yourself to get closer or further away from what you want?Click To Tweet

I remember…when my wife was pregnant with our first boy, Milo. We were staying in the city of Stockholm right around the corner from a 7-eleven and in some miraculous way every night I would put my shoes on, get in the elevator and run around the corner to buy vanilla ice-cream and bananas because she wanted a banana split.

Before I knew it, I had gained 20lb…

It didn’t end there. After Milo was born… the banana splits continued… talk about influence.. But in the wrong direction.

Seriously, there’s no impact in the world without influence. You won’t be able to build a successful business if you don’t know how to influence yourself to take consistent strategic action.

Think about it, the right influence will control the digits on your bank account, while ineffective influence will have people in your life and in your business be missing out on your knowledge, wisdom, and your expertise. Are you following this?

So the question is, how do we achieve it? How do we actually achieve unshakeable influence, and more important, how do we own our influence?

How do you own your influence?

How do you get yourself and others to move, to take action, to make important progress on the things you say you want?

If you’re at all familiar with any of my Elite training on how to dominate your life and business without apologies, without minimizing or devaluing yourself, you would see that we focus and train on owning your dark side ( which really means, removing guilt and shame from your life and embracing all of you).

We focus on owning the traits of badasses (the best in the world) to make sure you claim the traits you see in the people you admire, inside of you.

Because here are two insight worth writing down…

Your self worth equals your net-worth. In other words, guilt and shame pulls you down, lowers your worth and cripples you. You can’t be or have the level of success you want as long as you’re imprisoned by guilt and shame. And it’s there, I promise. It’s built into your nervous system. And it’s gotta go.
I am a natural born badass. You have every trait, every quality as every other badass out there. You were born that way. It’s your nature to win. Every person you know, that has accomplished what you want, you have access to those traits and resources as well. But here’s the problem, the moment you put someone on a pedestal, in that instant, what happens to you? You lower your worth. Period. It’s as simple as that. In that moment you, my friend, you lose all your power to influence, yourself and others.

…And of course, if you want to own your influence, you’ve gotta own your time. If you have no control of your time, you can’t influence your time and much less own it, you’ll have no impact. Other key areas to own if you want influence yourself and others? Your expertise (you can’t be half-assing things if you want to be highly paid and thought of as the go-to expert in your field. Deliberately, get better.), What else? Own your positioning in the world. Without this, it will be very hard to influence other people.

So it’s very critical…

With that said, you want to be a badass influencer? YOU have to go first.

Whatever you want someone to feel, however you want someone to think, to behave, you’ve got to step into that feeling, own that behavior, and demonstrate it, first.

When I was training people to deliver powerful presentations from the stage so they can be confident and own it. I had to own the physicality and psychology of how I wanted them to show up first. I moved and spoke with certainty, with playfulness, flexibility in my voice. I had to demonstrate how to connect with the audience. Are you with me, are you getting this?

Same thing when I worked with couples to transform their marriage. Here’s what I would do.

I would start by asking, the husband or wife, “So tell me what’s going on? She would say something like, “He is always working, and he never spends any time with the kids, and the time that he is home, he’s just watching the game, and none of us get his attention. And when I bring it up, he gets mad and then he shuts down.”

“He would say something like, “That’s not true. I come home, and all I’m asking for is just a few minutes to relax. Is that too much much to ask for? You’re always just complaining. Nothing I do is ever good enough for you, is it?”

And you could just imagine, where it would go after this if I didn’t stop them. Right? Very common. Blame. Criticism. Attacks. I’m sure you’ve never done that, but maybe you know someone…

I literally had to train them to influence each other the right way.

I would go, “Stop! You both already know how to do that. You’re masters at it. No question. Let’s do something different.

I want you to repeat after me.” And I would turn to one of them. “Look at your husband and repeat after me. ‘Honey, when you come home after work, the kids and I have missed you so much.’ And I stop, have her repeat after me.

Then I continue. ‘And I know when you’ve come home and wanted a break, I’ve judged and criticized you. I’ve questioned your intentions. And to be honest, I’ve been a real nag. And that must feel like I don’t see everything you do for us as a family, all the hard work you put in so that we can have the life we have. I’ve been more focused on what I’m not getting, than caring about you. I’ve been selfish. I know you work hard for us. I want to become better at showing how much I appreciate you. I haven’t. And that’s not your fault. It’s been my insecurities.’

I do the same with him. And I ask each one of them, “What’s true about what you just said?” 99.9% of them they all go, “That’s exactly how it is. It’s all true.”

Why I’m sharing this with you?

Because I have to go first. I demonstrate to them what it could sound like when you’re telling the truth. Not blaming or attacking. When you own your shit.

I show them (influence them) what it sounds like to have a loving and caring marriage.

You see, because, this is how we grew up. Isn’t that true? This is how we’ve operated from the day we were born.

We modeled the sounds, physicality, and behaviors of the people around us. We especially model the people whom we believe will give us love and appreciation (or not take it away from us). Alright?

We model people.

So, if you don’t go first, it’s not going to happen. Therefore, you want to look at your level of conviction, your level of certainty when you’re talking to people.

Do your sounds and body movements ( your posture, gestures, breathing, facial expressions) communicate certainty and conviction or do you communicate uncertainty and hesitancy?

Your level of conviction determines your influence. Always remember, the person with the most conviction, with the most certainty, always influences the other person. It’s just the way it is.

You either influence or you’re influenced. There’s NO IN-BETWEEN.Click To Tweet

Remember this is part one of 3 in this Influence Trilogy.

Here’s what I’ll share with you in part two of this trilogy…

How to identify and hit your business and life targets without resistance, without sabotage and how to influence your team to be on board.
What NEVER to do when you want to influence someone and how to make it work.
Why everything you’ve learned about influence is dead wrong and what you can do instead.

…And, if you’re questioning or not feeling happy about the direction of your life, it’s most likely because you’re trying to live someone else’s dream…

Hey if you enjoyed today’s episode and you know someone who would benefit from it, please share it, and if you believe more people need to join our badass community maybe even write a review. How about it. I would really appreciate it.

BOOM!! How’d you like that?

Listen, if you’re a leader of a team, you’re in sales, you’re a manager or if your results are directly related to your ability influence, you know the importance of getting your message across and inspire people to take action.

But the hardest part is figuring out how to remove friction, how to communicate without creating conflict or resistance and how to get people to WANT to do what you ask without becoming controlling, manipulative or sleazy in the process, right?

This is what I’ve spent a lifetime studying so I could help them get the best results.

So if you’re wondering how to get through to people and influence them more effectively, I created a special opportunity for you to get on a call with me to get you on track with the right focus, and more important, how to maximize growth, maximize efficiency and simplify.

Wanna talk?

I’m only one person, so this is on a first come, first serve basis. Spots are extremely limited, so if you’re serious and you want me to personally answer your direct questions.
You can apply for your spot by going to TalkToSatori.com.

Again, that’s TalkToSatori.com.